The Ministry Takes a Twist!
by Spanish Inquisition
Summary: My random, somewhat plotless fan fiction about... stuff. Madness insues. Humor reviewers, you've come to the right place! Rated PG-13 just to be on the safe side. If there IS a safe side to PG-13 fics. o.O
1. The Beginning of the Madness

**Yuki: Welcome one, and everyone! Welcome to the— **

**Yume: Doom of us all. **

**Yuki: Security. **

**Security: ::take Yume away to the Room With a Moose:: **

**Yume: NOOOO!! NOT THE ROOM WITH THE MOOSE!! NOT THE ROOM WITH THE MOOOOOooooooooooooose.... **

**Everyone else: o.o Cheese.... **

**Yuki: SHUT IT. **

**Hikari: Welcome to Yuki-chan's first ever fan fiction! Please leave all flames at the door and proceed to read the randomness that is Yuki's insanely awesome creativeness! **

**Yuki: Why thank you, Hikari. NOW! LET THE ASSIGNING— I mean... fan fic... BEGIN!! **

**Disclaimer of DOOM: I own not anything that belongs not to me. **

**Everyone: o.O??? **

**Disclaimer for Dummies: I don't own Yu Yu Hakusho. **

**Introducing... the first of many chapters... The Beginning of the Madness **

Yuki was the first to awake in the large mansion that was the fortress of the Ministry of Silly Walks crew. She dressed in her "Meats of Evil" shirt and jeans. She equipped her feets with black flip-flops and her back with a blue jean jacket. She walked across her room to where Hiei slept and gave him his usual wake-up call.

"GET YOUR ASS OUT OF BED NOW, JAGANSHI!!"

She ran.

Yuki was not one to walk down the stairs like a good little Ice demon should. She had Hiei hot on her trail so she did as usual, and iced the banister. She slid down. As she did so, she pulled a blue jean baseball cap out of Hammer Space and placed it on her head. Backwards. Strange as it may be, the stairs ended (or started, whichever you prefer), in the kitchen. And strange as it may be, by the time Hiei had returned the banister to normal and turned to face Yuki, she had already begun with the... WAFFLES!

"How did you..."

The Ice apparition pointed at the cabinet that usually contained waffle mix crap. It had been opened and emptied of its contents.

"But that still doesn't explain how you did that that fas—"

"DO NOT QUESTION MY SPEEDY AUTHORITY, LITTLE MAN!" the yelling had, of course, woken Touya, Jin, Yuusuke, and Kurama, who slept on the first floor. They moseyed into the kitchen and checked out the scene.

"Every... single... morning...." Yuusuke said through a yawn.

"What did Hiei say, sister?"

Yuki turned to face her brother. She sweatdropped. "NOTHING!"

Touya, Jin, Yuusuke, and Kurama then proceeded to participate in the classic anime fall.

"The' wha' di' 'appen, eh?"

"What did he say?" Yuki whispered to Touya.

"Can you never understand anything sister?" he said with a sigh.

"Obviously not." Came a voice from behind them.

Yuki's eyes were sparkly. IT'S YOUU!!! She ran towards Hikari who had just come down from the second floor. She held her little dog, Jack, in her arms.

"IT'S YOUU!!!" Hikari put Jack down, who immediately started chewing on the bottom of Yuusuke's flannel pajama pants. She glomped Yuki.

"HOLY—!!"

People laughed.

"GET — THE HELL — OFFA ME — HIKARI!!"

And she did.

"Youuuuuu duuuun't liiiiiiiike meeeeeeee!" Hikari began to sob. Yuki, Touya, and Hiei then began to head towards the tallest tree they could find. To get far, far away from Hikari.

THREE HOURS LATER'D!

Hiei and Yuki still sit in the tree. Azumi, Hikari, and Kurama sit by the lake outside the mansion talking about Invader ZIM. Kaze was taking a nap. In the middle of the lake. On a giant floaty boat. Kyoko and Kuwabara were engaged in a battle of wits. Yuusuke, Touya, Jin, Yume, Hark, Charlie, and Kitty were running around having an acorn war. Yuki almost joined, but when she got hit in the eye with one....

"CHARLIE!!" she jumped out of the tree and ran to Charlie.

"o.o I'm doomed...." Charlie took off towards the mansion.

"DAMN STRAIGHT! GET BACK HERE YOU LITTLE PUNK!" Once Yuki caught up to Charlie, she grabbed the nearest breakable object she could. A lamp. She beat Charlie over the head with it multiple times until it broke. She decided to use her awesome ninja skills. Soon Charlie and Yuki were in an all-out fist furry. Azumi and Touya ran in.

"YUKI! That was our mother's demon lamp! She got it from Yuusuke's dad, remember?!?"

"Obviously not!"

Azumi used her nifty levitation technique and lifted Yuki and Charlie far, far away from each other. Yuusuke, Kazuma, Jin, Hark, and Yume came to observe the scene.

"Lemme go, Azumi! Put me down!" Yuki shouted.

"Lemme think about it.... Mmmmmmmmmnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnoooooooooooooo." (1)

"Guyyyyyyyyyyys!" Kaze's voice floated down from the third floor game room. "Sweeeeeeeet snooooooooow!"

"SWEET SNOW!!" everyone ran upstairs to Kaze. As Azumi left, Charlie and Yuki fell to the ground. Charlie began up the stairs, but was forced to stop as Yuki proceeded to beat him some more.

"Ow! Yuki! Sweet snow, remember?!"

"OH YEAH!" she took off up the stairs.

PAGE BREAK!

Once everyone was full to bursting with sweet snow, Hikari decided to get an idea.

"LET'S PLAY TAG!!"

"HELL NO!" everyone else shouted.

"I never?" (2)

"Well that works." Azumi said.

When everyone had their sodas, Kaze went first.

"Um... I never... climbed the Empire State Building and jumped off."

Yuki took a drink. Kuwabara, who was sneaking a drink, spit it out.

"WHEN WAS THAT?!?"

"Well," Yuki explained, "I once climbed up to the very tippy-top of the Empire State Building and did a beautiful swan dive off. I shot out a web right before I hit the ground and sped along about an inch from the pavement. I shot another out and I swung high into the air, then jumped and landed on top of another building. The judge gave me a nine point five. "

".........................................::spaz::"

"What?! I was playing Spider-Man!!"

"Well that clears that up, then." Yume said.

"OOH! OOH! OOH! ME NEXT!!" Hikari shouted. "I neverrrrrr... ate a bean."

"For real, Hikari."

She pouted. "Fine. I neverrrrrr... kissed a guy." Yuki and Hiei glanced at each other, as did Yume and Kurama, before reluctantly taking a sip.

"HA! BLACKMAIL!!" Yuusuke and Kazuma high-fived and ran out of the room.

"Well, shit." Yuki said.

"Yep. We're doomed." Kurama agreed.

"Not if I have anything to say about it...."

**Yuki: And so ends the random plotless chapter the first. **

**Yume: The Spider-Man thing actually happened. The judge was Yuki's bro's friend, Ty. **

**Hikari: What are Yuusuke and Kuwabara plotting?! Will Yume, Kurama, Yuki, and Hiei be able to stop them in time?! Find out in the next chapter of "The Ministry Takes a Twist!" **

**Yuki: I need at least three positive reviews before I can update. **

**Azumi: R&R! R&R NOW! **

**(1) Thanks to Aya for that quote. **

**(2) Got the idea from my friend P.A.'s fan fiction "Party At P.A.'s". You people should read it sometime. It's greatness.**


	2. The Continuity of the Madness

**Yuki: Welcome back, friends! I would like to thank my reviewers, whom without this chapter would not be possible! Would you do the honors, brother?**

**Touya: Of course. Thanks to Kaze, Yume, Azumi, Kitty, Raginggundam, and Anna, this chapter could be posted!**

**Hikari, Yume, and Kaze: ::run around wearing the exact same thing (white t-shirts and jeans (Yuki: dunno why I put that)):: NEW CHAPTER NEW CHAPTER NEW CHAPTER NEW CHAPTER!!!**

**Yuusuke, Hiei, Yuki, and Kazuma: o.O Yyyyyyyyeeaaaaaaah.... Suuuure....**

**Disclaimer: IT'S IN THE FIRST CHAPTER!!**

**Chapter two: The Continuity of the Madness**

_**RECAP!**_

_"OOH! OOH! OOH! ME NEXT!!" Hikari shouted. "I neverrrrrr... ate a bean." _

_"For real, Hikari." _

_She pouted. "Fine. I neverrrrrr... kissed a guy." Yuki and Hiei glanced at each other, as did Yume and Kurama, before reluctantly taking a sip. _

_"HA! BLACKMAIL!!" Yuusuke and Kazuma high-fived and ran out of the room. _

_"Well, shit." Yuki said. _

_"Yep. We're doomed." Kurama agreed. _

_"Not if I have anything to say about it...." _

Kazuma and Yuusuke ran down the stairs and out the large polished maple front doors of the mansion to God knows where. Yume stood.

"Come on." she motioned to Yuki, Kurama, and Hiei. The three demons of Ice, Kitsune, and Fire stood. "We'll need you, too, Azumi. And you, Hikari." The Shadow and the human girl stood.

"Wait a minute, Yuki...." Yuki slightly turned her head to look at Kaze.

"What?"

"YOU KISSED HIEI?! WHEN WAS THAT?!?"

"::face fault:: You are freakishly uninformed, O Wrestler of the Garden Hose (Yuki: Read Hikari Niji's fic, Fellowship of the Crew Goes Nutty)."

FLASHBACK TIME! (Hikari: WHEE! My favorite! ::gets slammed upside the head with Yuki's Eragon book:: xx)

One Month Earlier....

Hiei sat in his usual tree outside the crew's mansion. He sang softly.

"Wherever I am you'll always be

More than just a memory

If I ever leave this world alive

If I ever leave this world alive

I'll take on all the sadness

That I left behind

If I ever leave this world alive

The madness that you feel will soon subside

So in a word don't shed a tear

I'll be here when it all gets weird

If I ever leave this world alive"

Yuki clambered up onto the branch. Hiei jumped.

"Yo. Whatcha singin'?" It dawned on her. "YOU WERE SINGING!! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!" she fell off the tree cackling madly. THUNK. "Ow!!"

Hiei jumped down, picked her up, and jumped back up onto the branch. Yuki rubbed her head.

"Thanks." she said. "So... why were you singing anyways?"

Hiei looked away.

"None of your business."

"Tell me! Pleeeease!"

"No."

Yuki gasped. "I know what it is...!" Hiei's eyes widened. "YOU'VE GOT A CRUSH ON BOTAN!!!"

Hiei fell over in the classic anime style. "No. I hate that woman. She calls herself the Grim Reaper?" he spat onto the ground.

"Well that song, the way you were singing it, the fact that you were singing it at ALL leads me to believe you liiiiike someone. WHO IS IT?! TELL ME!"

Her answer was his lips meeting hers.

End flashback!

"Oh. My. God." in a matter of seconds, Kaze was rolling on the floor with laughter.

"CUT THAT OUT NOW! I'LL KILL YOU! I'LL KILL YOU ALL!!" she ran towards Kaze, eyes blazing bright blue.

"Yuki, contain yourself!" Kurama said, and held her back by her arms.

"Okay." she began to walk downstairs, but stopped and turned to Yume. "Why don't... you go first, 'cause, I have no idea where we're going.

"Yeah. Right." Yume led the five down the stairs and out the mansion doors. "Come." They ran and hid in a few bushes. "Here's my plan. Hikari, we'll need you most. Your part is important in the downfall of Urameshi and Kuwabara's no doubt ghastly plan...."

NEXT SCENE!

"Wonder what they will do to poor Yuusuke and Kazuma."

Charlie jumped up. "'POOR YUUSUKE AND KAZUMA'?!?" he shouted. "'POOR YUUSUKE AND KAZUMA'?!!?" Yukina blinked.

"They haven't done much anything to Yume, Yuki, Kurama, and Hiei. I see no need to—"

"Yukina-chan, sweetie," Botan said. "'Poor Yuusuke and Kazuma' are going to blackmail Yuki and Yume."

"Botan, what is black mailing?" she asked.

"Okay, I can't take much more of this. I'm going swimming."

"ANDI'MGOINGWITHYOU!" Kaze and Charlie went to change into swim trunks and left out the back door-thing.

NEXT SCENE!

Back to Yuusuke and Kuwabara, who are currently sitting in a random Burger King.

"No, you moron! We need pictures! PICTURES! We can't do anything without pictures or footage!"

"No, we could just— oh wait you're right."

"Where the hell is my Whopper, I've been waiting ten minutes for that...." Yuusuke walked off to go yell at management. Kuwabara took out a pen and began to draw on a napkin.

"I DON'T GIVE A DAMN IF YOU'RE MISSING ONE PERSON! I'VE BEEN WAITING A WHOLE FREAKING TEN MINUTES FOR MY STUPID BURGER!"

"Sir, we only have one waiter (Yuki: Pretty fancy BK, eh?), and he's out today with a stomach virus."

"WHY CAN'T SOMEONE ELSE DO IT?! Who's in charge, they're one fry short of a Happy Meal."

"Don't you go using that McDonald's talk in here, young man!"

Yuusuke gave the old woman a o.O sort of look, then glared. His right index finger started to glow.

"I want... my Whopper... and I want it... now, you bastard."

"Urameshi!!" Kuwabara jumped over a few tables and reached Yuusuke and the old woman. He held Yuusuke's finger back. "Not here Urameshi!!!"

Yuusuke glared at Kuwabara, then the old woman, and left. Kuwabara followed, stopping at the table on the way out to pick up his napkin.

Once outside the Burger King, Kuwabara showed the drawing on the napkin to Yuusuke.

"What the...?

"You remember those hidden cameras we set up by the trees and bushes, in hopes of doing what we're doing?"

"Yeaaaah...."

"Maybe Yuki and Hiei were in one of the trees where we set up cameras. And Kurama and Yume could've been near a bush with a camera at the time."

"Damn, Kuwabara! You're smart when you want to be!" Yuusuke said, slapping Kuwabara's back.

"Don't do that."

So Yuusuke and Kazuma headed back to the mansion. Once they got there they stayed silent, for they heard everyone but the six that had gone to plot against them (though they didn't know it at the time) outside in the pool.

From there they headed to the most likely spot Yuki and Hiei would have been. The furthest tree from the mansion that was still on land owned by the Ministry. Yet before they got there, they heard a rustling in the bushes ahead of them. They looked closer and saw sticking out from under the leaves... a hand.

"What the..." Yuusuke started to take a step towards the bush but was stopped by Kuwabara.

"Wait."

Scratched and bleeding, it groped around until it found a tree root protruding from the ground, and used it to pull itself up. Once two arms, a head, and a torso were no longer hidden by the bushes, the almost lifeless body looked up at the two boys. The face of their friend was bloody and bruised. The clothes were torn, revealing deep gashes where some demon must have lashed out at her. She eventually rolled out of the bushes, revealing her legs and feet which were as scraped and bruised and mangled as the rest of her. She opened her mouth to speak, yet no noise came out. She tried again and once more failed. The third time she lifted her head, the only word that came out of her mouth was "Help." her voice was dry and raspy and a faint moan came from her before she collapsed on the ground.

**Everyone: groan YUKI!!**

**Yuki: Ooh, a cliffie in a humor fic, that's gotta be illegal.**

**Yume: Damnit, Yuki. Well, R&R so she'll update.**

**Yuusuke: Yeah, that was actually getting good.**

**Kazuma: And I was getting smart!**

**Yuki: Yeah. Was.**

**Hikari: That song Hiei was singing was 'If I Ever Leave This World Alive' by Flogging Molly.**


	3. Yume’s Insidious Plot

**Yume: NOW WE GET TO SEE WHAT HAPPENS! ONWARD!**

**Yuki: Hold your horses, Yume you idiot! ::turns to reviewers:: I know you are all -oh- so eager to see what happened, but you have to listen to this first! ::starts to sing the Doom song::**

**Everyone else: NO!!! NOT THAT! ANYTHING BUT THAT!!**

**Yuki: ::pout:: Fine. Onward to chapter three, Yume's Insidious Plot!**

**Disclaimer: First chapter.**

RECAP!

_Scratched and bleeding, it groped around until it found a tree root protruding from the ground, and used it to pull itself up. Once two arms, a head, and a torso were no longer hidden by the bushes, the almost lifeless body looked up at the two boys. The face of their friend was bloody and bruised. The clothes were torn, revealing deep gashes where some demon must have lashed out at her. She eventually rolled out of the bushes, revealing her legs and feet which were as scraped and bruised and mangled as the rest of her. She opened her mouth to speak, yet no noise came out. She tried again and once more failed. The third time she lifted her head, the only word that came out of her mouth was "Help." her voice was dry and raspy and a faint moan came from her before she collapsed on the ground._

"HIKARI!" Yuusuke ran to her, but before he got within three feet of her, a voice to his right in a tree shouted, "NOW!"

A bright light shined over the bushes, seemingly coming from a tree ahead. Yuusuke and Kuwabara were blinded, and they couldn't move if they couldn't see.

"Orb of Darkness!!" shouted a voice from the top of the tree. Two giant orbs of jet black spirit energy shot straight towards the two frightened teenage boys. They screamed like little girls as they turned on their heels and ran. They were stopped short by two figures, shrouded in darkness. The silhouettes looked like... their own shadows. They looked down, where their shadows should be, but they were missing. Shadow Kazuma created a Spirit Sword of black energy, as Shadow Yuusuke powered up a black Shot Gun. Once again, the boys yelped and turned only to be met by a shower of sparks, flashing lights, and strangely familiar clicking sounds. The boys were boxed in. With huge trees on either side of them, the sparks and lights in front of them and their own shadows approaching menacingly from behind, the only way to go was up.

"Urameshi, we're screwed!"

"You idiot!" Yuusuke yelled, his voice quavering. "Use your friggin' Spirit Sword and slice the trees!"

Kuwabara tried, but they would not fall. Panicking, they dared not run into the shower of sparks, and they could not fight their own shadows. They finally looked up. Their bodies met tar, and the lights dissipated. Their shadows returned to their rightful places under them, and suddenly everything stopped. No yelling, no lights, nothing. Just the sound of the trees, and the birds that had returned from their hasty flight away from the commotion. They tried to run away, but the tar held them to the ground. They could not move. It was then a soft, somewhat amused voice that was uncomfortably familiar spoke behind them, where they could not see.

"Get them."

Yuki, Azumi, Hikari (who was still cut, scratched, and dead-looking), Kurama, and Hiei walked out from behind trees and bushes with buckets of God-knows-what. They smiled contentedly for a few seconds before tackling the immobile friends and covering them... with feathers.

"There, now your looks match your personality. Chickens." Yuki said. Hikari, Azumi, and Hiei laughed.

Yuusuke and Kuwabara were in shock. Yuusuke snapped out of it when he heard their laughter and completely freaked out. "AHH! KUWABARA'S A GIANT CHICKEN! Wait..." the others laughed harder. "HEY!" Yuusuke yelled. "WHAT'S ALL GOING ON?!? WHAT THE HELL DID YOU DO THAT TO US FOR YOU JACKASSES?!!??!"

The boys tried to move but found they could not. They looked down once more and found the tar that held their feet to the forest floor had stuck them to every tiny blade of grass, leaf, and bug they had touched.

"How did you come up with all of this?" Kazuma asked in awe.

"Well..." Hikari started, "Hiei and Yuki were in fact in the tree you had placed cameras in."

"And I knew it, too. You know how? 'Cause I was settin' up my own." Yume said. Hiei and Yuki face faulted.

"SAY WHAT?!!?"

"Hush up, I was joking. Now, Yuki's the artist, so we got scissors, katchup, watercolors, old clothes, and Hikari's dog. We gave Hikari's old shoes to Jack so he could chew them up real good for us to use them." Yume grinned. "We let Yuki loose on Hikari's old clothes with the scissors and Hikari's arms, legs, and hair with the katchup and watercolors."

"Sure paid off, too!" Yuki said, eating a french fry that had been dipped in Hikari's katchup-blood.

"HEY!" Hikari snarled.

"What about the lights and the explosions and the clicking and the trees and the shadows and the black Spirit orbs??" Yuusuke asked in one breath.

"Slow down. Don't hyperventilate." Azumi said. "The shadows and the Spirit Orbs were me. I'm a shadow demon... duh. I can manipulate shadows and turn them against their owner. Cool, huh?"

"Yeah, neat, so long as it isn't being used on you...."

Azumi laughed.

"The explosions were cheap lighting. They were just supposed to shine in your eyes so you wouldn't be able to see Yuki with the camera. That's why there were flash--"

"CAMERA??!!?" the answer was yes. "YOU MEAN YOU GOT PICTURES OF US SCREAMING LIKE LITTLE SCHOOL GIRLS?!" the answer was yes. "LIKE TOHRU HONDA FROM FRUITS BASKET?!" the answer was yes. "I hate you people."

"Anydangway," Yuki continued. "The other lights were being operated by Azumi. Since she was in the tree firing her Darkness Orbs at y'all, y'all being you two... yeah...."

"And what about the trees?" Kazuma asked, turning his head to look at the trees he had tried to cut that were, surprisingly, still standing.

"That was my doing." Kurama said. "Yume instructed us all to not let you escape for this to go correctly. I kept the trees standing."

So... Azumui was in the tree, Kurama was behind this tree here," Yuusuke touched the tree that Kurama had come out from behind. "Hikari was dead on the ground, Yuki was in front of us with the Pretty Silver Camera of Doom (a/n: Which is good for blackmailing people! ), so where were Hiei and you, Yume?"

The two of Fire and Kitsune whistled innocently.

"Yume," Yuusuke said warningly.

"Fine... we... were... erm... inthetreesfilmingyourcowardlyness." she said hesitantly.

"WHAT?!?" Yuusuke groaned. "I hate you people...."

"Well... Kurama also had a camera."

"I really hate you people."

Guess what? It's a page break!!

Three hours have passed since the tar-and-feather blackmail incident. Yuusuke and Kazuma had been cleaned up and everyone was back in the mansion game room. Azumi and Yuki were shooting pool, Hiei and Kurama were in a head to head DDR battle to the pass-out. (a/n: You know how people'll be in battles to the death? This is to the pass-out.) Yuusuke, Kaze, Yume, and Hikari were playing Melee on Yuki's G-Cube. Everyone else was doing other stuff that you either don't care about or I'm too lazy to type out. Probably both. It was then that Azumi shot the 8 ball over the table and right into the center of the tv set, killing the Melee game.

"Damn it, Azumi! I was right when I said for you not to challenge me!" Yuki said, disappointed.

The sun began to set outside. Yuusuke looked out and said,

"Well, we've got the cash, let's just go out and buy another tv?"

"Yeah, you're right. We'll steal Jin." Yume said.

"Wha?"

"You know, he can be out personal transporter."

"Whatever... but you know he's gonna leave us stranded in front of Fry's with a 38" plasma screen tv.... We'd better just take the Shimuckna robot."¹

Yuki noticed.

The others agreed and left out the oak doors of the mansion towards Fry's. As Yuki looked out the window, she saw the two trees in the forest finally fall.

**¹ Taken from Tsuki Takes Over by Psychos-Anonymous with permission!**

**Yuki: I kinda hate to use a good fan fiction ending for the end of the third chapter, but I thought it was good.**

**Hikari: Hope you liked it. Yuki-chan'll try to get chapter four up as soon as she can.**

**Yume: The next thing she's making me post for her is her romance fiction, "A Reason to Live." -.-**

**Yuki: Checka my bio for information.**

**Kaze: R&R, people!**

**  
**


	4. Da Filla Chapta

Yuki: I ran out of ideas for my fan fiction, so I wrote this filler chapter!

Yume/Azumi/Hikari: So good!

Disclaimer: I don't own Yu Yu Hakusho or Homestar Runner.

It was early one hazy morning, and amazingly many of our fine crew was already up... doing stuff. Yuki and Hikari sat on the floor playing one of those small chitlin hand-clapping games.

"Oonchai, oonchai, one, two, three-chai!" they chanted. "Leave me alone or I'll tell Genkai! Brush your teeth, comb your hair, I saw Hiei in his under— Where you going? What're you doing? How do you be so short?!" Yuusuke and Kuwabara sat not far away watching with part intrest, part disgust, and part confusion.

"I wonder how much sanity is left...." Yuusuke muttered.

"You're in no place to talk." Yume said as she and Azumi appeared in the doorway with candy, popcorn, and soft drinks.

"One inch!" Hikari yelled.

"Two inch!" Yuki said.

"Three inch!"

"Four inch!"

There was a pause.

"Um... that's as high as I can count." Hikari said in a dissapointed voice.

"I can count to G!" Azumi chirped, tearing open a package of SweetTarts. Hiei had just entered the room and was staring at the scene before him, listening in sheer confusion.

"That's nothing!" Yume said haughtily, waving her hand as though swatting away a fly. "I can count to purple backwards!"

"...Look, it's Hiei." Hikari said, pointing behind Yuki.

Yuki looked over her shoulder at Hiei. "Hiei," she said curiously. "Why do you be so short?"

Hiei's eyes widened and he looked appaled.

"Hell, I'm not short!"

Yume, Azumi, Hikari, and Yuki looked around at one another and grinned.

"Hiei made a swear!" they said, giggling.

"Hn." Hiei closed his eyes, pocketed his hands, and left the room, slamming the door behind him.

Meanwhile, the four girls, Yuusuke, and Kuwabara were left in the game room laughing, to happy to think of anything else.

Yuki: Hope you liked my filler chapter and I hope I can get some ideas for the next REAL chapter! I just wrote this, like I said, because I ran out of them. I'll force my crew to help me on this. You could probably already tell that, and I'm just sitting here because I wanted to make it look like I really knew what I was talking about. So... stop reading. Quit now. I mean it. Seriously. Come on. Stop. Now. If you read this last sentence, it won't tell you anything.

Hikari: So good!


	5. The REAL chapter 4

Yuki: I'M SO SORRY I HAVEN'T BEEN UPDATING! -sobsob teartear-

Yume: ...Nuh uh.

Hikari: -snicker-

Yuki: BRAD PITT!

Hikari: -covers her face-

The disclaimer is in chapter one.

The REAL Chapter 4: The One I Finally Decided to Write

The sun began to set outside. Yuusuke looked out and said,

"Well, we've got the cash, let's just go out and buy another tv?"

"Yeah, you're right. We'll steal Jin." Yume said.

"Wha?"

"You know, he can be out personal transporter."

"Whatever... but you know he's gonna leave us stranded in front of Fry's with a 38" plasma screen tv... We'd better just take the Shimuckna robot." Yuki noticed.

The others agreed and left out the oak doors of the mansion towards Fry's. As Yuki looked out the window, she saw the two trees in the forest finally fall.

Fry's. A wondrous place filled with games, DVDs, iMacs, office supplies, and 38" plasma screen tv's. The Ministry was having a blast until that fateful moment when...

CRASH.

"SON OF A BITCH!" Yuusuke's voice echoed throughout the now dead silent store. A cricket chirped. Someone coughed.

"Time to go!" Hikari said, and she ran out.

"Right behind ya, sis." Azumi followed solomnly.

"I don't even want to KNOW." Hiei and Touya said as one. Yuki agreed and the three of them and Yume left, leaving Kuwabara, Kurama, Kaze, and Yuusuke to deal with the damage they caused.

"Wonder what they did." Hikari asked. A rhetorical question, Yume's stupidity began to show when she answered.

"I dunno. I bet they shot someone!"

Everyone else::face fault:

"There was a crash, not gunfire. Dumbass." Yuki pointed out. She looked around. "WHAT THE HELL!"

"Huh?" Touya said, looking in the same direction. "There's nothing there, sister."

"Exactly. That's where we parked."

"Fat load of help your robot was, P.A." Yume mumbled, pouting.

"OH MY GOD! THE SHIMUCKNA ROBOT IS GONE!" Hikari yelled, pointing.

"Rii-chan, hon, if you had kept your head out of the clouds and your brain in semi-reality for a second, you would have realized that we JUST went over that." Yume patted Hikari on the head.

Yuusuke and Kuwabara walked out of Fry's with their hands held behind their backs by the cops. Kurama and Kaze followed laughing.

"And I thought you just dropped something..." Hiei muttered.

"So did we." Kurama said, gesturing at Kaze and himself.

"Apparently he took out an old lady. THEN dropped the tv. On her." Kaze explained, staring at the cops hauling the angry Yuusuke and Kuwabara away.

At this, Hiei, Touya, and Yuki laughed. Hikari went into a mad panic, Yume's eyes were wide, and Azumi's eyebrow was raised in amusement.

"Oh my gosh! Is she okay? Did they break anything? Will she be fine?" Hikari spoke in a constant stream of words, jumbling her questions together. Not a soul in the three worlds, dead or alive, young or old, hard of hearing or keen hearing could decipher what she was saying. Yuki swore explosively.

"What's wrong with you! Shut up! I'm gonna go ballistic!" she screeched.

"She's right!" Yume yelled over Hikari, her fingers in her ears. "Not a sould alive in these three worlds, dead or alive—"

"Young or Old." Touya put in.

"Hard of hearing or not." Hiei said, and angry look upon his face.

"Could decipher what you're saying!" Yume finished.

And so it was that Kuwabara and Yuusuke we hauled away. But as it turned out, an old friend of Hikari's worked there and paid their bail himself! I'm not really sure whether that's legal or not:D

Eventually, everyone got back to the mansion okay. Azumi, Yume, Hiei, Yuusuke, and Kaze were watching the original War of the Worlds movie on the tv... that was... miraculously... repaired. Mmyeah. Yuki and Kurama were shooting pool.

"SIX BALL SIDE POCKET!" Yuki called, and she bent over to shoot. Unfortunately, Kuwabara was right behind her and she accidentally hit him in the crotch with the pool cue.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWWW!" Kuwabara was lying on the floor with his arms between his legs. People laughed at him.

"That's what you get for not getting out of her way..." Yuusuke said, grimacing. "I remember the day that happened to me..." he began.

"Not this story again." Azumi said, leaning forward. "I'm watching people being blown up, be quiet."

Yuusuke stuck his tongue out at her like a five-year-old.

Yuki finally shot and missed. She sobbed for exactly 3.875 seconds before Kurama shot. He made one. Too bad for him it was the two ball.

"Jell-O..." Azumi said contentedly, watching the green laser beams being shot at the army.

"Indeed, Mii-chan, indeed." Kaze yawned and reclined back in his chair. But it wasn't a reclinable chair, so he fell backwards and it was his turn to be laughed at.

"Lookie, Kaze's stupid..." Yume grinned sheepishly. Like a sheep. A woolly one. Like Shaun.

"BAA!" Kurama, Hiei, Kuwabara, and Yuki yelled in unison.

"Protest the use of Scotland!" Hikari declared, pointing northwards.

"And may the living be dead in our wake!" Yume added.

"Long live the Irish." Yuki said.

No one paid attention to her.

"...Long live the Poles?"

Everyone cheered.

It was freakin' weird.

This is the part of the story where I stopped to save it and send what I had so far to Yume and Azumi to see how they liked it. They did.

As it turned out, Kurama and Yuki's pool game came out real weird. Kurama went to the bathroom and came back with short hair. He explained that he had hair extensions. Yuki said "finally," but Yume cried. She liked his long, gravity-defying hair.

Eventually the authoress of this fan fiction had a near-fatal spleen attack and her blood clotted due to a transfusion from the day before that was not compatable with her blood type. She lived anyway. Her dad's blood type is O-. Her Science teacher's is B+.

A week later Keiko was almost hit by a bus. Yuusuke laughed, though. The plot to this story lost its meaning by the second paragraph of the first chapter. It was gone for good by the last chapter I put up here. Now I'm just trying to fill up space and make it really know what I'm talking about. Kurama had a pet caterpillar named James.

I've totally and completely run out of ideas from here, so I'll end this chapter in

3...

2...

1...

The end.

Yuki: Omfg...As if I couldn't GET any more random... . 

Azumi: ...No kidding.

Hikari and Yume: -watching The Bourne Supremacy- -watching Kirill get killed-

Hikari: Uh-oh, Yume, your man is dead.

Yuki: HEY! Tell the nice people how grateful I'd be if they'd review!

Yume: Oh, uh, Shin-chan'd love it if you clicked the Go button!


End file.
